Fatty Crab. Chili Crab. Where the hell is the recipe?

Best thing ever!!!

I know, I know, I’ve been teasing you, toying with you. Telling you all about my amazing chili crab experience. Taking you through the process. Promising to share the recipe. And then one week later you get bubkus. Quite honestly it’s because I’m lazy. I could lie and say that I’ve been crazy busy interviewing for jobs or training for a marathon, but that would be a total lie and no one likes a liar. The Chili Crab recipe has so many ingredients, steps, instructions and the like that I was dreading typing it up. How lame is that?! Pretty lame.

So, with that said…I’m still not going to share the recipe. Just bits and pieces. If you really, really want the recipe send me an email (moose.lisa@gmail.com) and I will dutifully and promptly send you the recipe.

First make the Garlic-Ginger Paste. There’s lots of pounding and whirring of things in the food processor involved. This is when the making of the stinky Sambal Belecan occurs. Apparently in Malaysia this is served in bowls with every meal to be spooned over everything. Maybe not ice cream. The Belecan itself is dried, fermented shrimp paste that is used to flavor Sambals. Yummy dried, fermented shrimp paste. When making said Belecan make sure your stove exhaust is on high and that every single window in your house is open. Not that this really helps, but it gives the illusion that somehow you’re doing something to make sure your house won’t smell like dog pee for 2 weeks. There’s really nothing that can be done to prevent this.

Next make the Sriracha Liquid. Easy peasy.

Cook the crab. Or if you’re a soft-hearted wuss like me you’ll take the cooked, cleaned of ick crabs out of the fridge.

Now that you have made all the elements and spent an entire afternoon pulling this together, and wondering what the hell you’re doing it’s time to finish the dish. All the ingredients that you’ve spent all afternoon pounding and whirring will be added to a pot with boatloads of butter, which will in turn become the sauce for the crab. Drooling. Bygones. Add the crab to the sauce, coat liberally. Grab some bowls, a roll of paper towels and put on that t-shirt you no longer care about and dig in. This is messy people. Not food for a first date. Or when you have your boss over for dinner. Unless of course your boss is a chef.

Important note: Serve with thick toast triangles so you get every last spicy, heavenly bit of sauce.

Until next time…Moose out

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